areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
