She said her name was "party"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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