I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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