You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
