Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
