Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
