WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think your dad took our porno
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
