We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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