I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
