A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
