Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
