can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
