I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I would fuck him just for his dog
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
