just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
