do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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