it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
it hurts more in the daytime
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
