You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
