Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Operation Purity has been aborted
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
