North Korea, Best Korea!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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