Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
