Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
