he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
