I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
honey bunches of taint.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
