do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
