Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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