WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think a kid would responsible me up
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
