Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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