.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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