Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
