i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
