ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Its about making memories worth repressing
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
