i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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