I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
