Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
