If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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