I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
