They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
