K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
