Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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