Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
