Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
