All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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