I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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