I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
