I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
