Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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