Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
