apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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