Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
