I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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