I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
