sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
