i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm both gender and math confused
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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